Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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