nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
In America we eat man semen.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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