he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
