I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
