A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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