It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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