there's paper in my vomit.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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