And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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