I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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