as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I will pee on everything he values.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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