No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
be right there i have to get my cape
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
