Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
