I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
