Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
