she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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