so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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