You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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