I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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