a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
