some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
