They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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