And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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