I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
