having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
