Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
