You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
