Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
