Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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