It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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