So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
