Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
