Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
