I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
