Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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