There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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