Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
