woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
