Buhtt sex?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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