i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
