i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize