Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
