What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
