no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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