As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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