I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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