A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize