I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
