So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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