Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
