It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
