Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
