you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
