so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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