He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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