I'm lost and stupid without you.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
