I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
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soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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