omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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