i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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