I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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