I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
