need another drink. this is the easiest way
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It's rum buckets o'clock
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize