Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
