she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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